Confidence shaken

At this workplace of mine, a vast majority of my colleagues are either happily married, engaged or attached. Three of them are registering or had their marriage solemnised this year alone. The unification of two individuals is always a happy occasion and I'm happy to see that the people I work with are going to do or had done that. Because of this, it's not that difficult to hear stories about their other half or those that are related to their household.

Some of these stories are interesting, while others are sad to hear. My ears are always open to all these, if the person is willing to share. However, sometimes, when you hear these too often or you inadvertently hear them, certain thoughts would begin to wander inside the head as you become somewhat envious of what is happening in the lives of these people around you.

"When, or IF (for that matter) will I get to enjoy those things?", "Will I be loved and be as happy as them in the near future?" are some of the questions that will run around my mind. Yes, I yearn to be happy too. I'd like someone to care for me, to share my problems with, and of course, to love and be loved in return. I'd like to be excited with her as we apply for our own home. I'd like to be anxious and busy choosing what cupboard to install or what flooring to tile for our upcoming new home. I'd like to do things together with my special other half.

But I also believe in fate. Yes, I'm alone now. I'm not sure when or if I'll ever find my other half. And if it's fated for me to spend my life by myself, well, I shall accept it. But that will not stop me from feeling a little down once in a while.

Oh well.