Fingers crossed, hoping.

The week has been full of ups and downs. While bad news have come one after another, happy things have happened in my life too. From work-related to the personal life, I've experienced a mixture of things which I had foreseen and also something new which I've never felt before.

Currently, awaiting the news and confirmation on a certain thing. As much I dread for the day to come, I know that this is part and parcel of life, one that sometimes I'm not given a choice to decide. One thing for certain, I'll always cherish the time and experiences that we have had. It is time.

Sometimes I wonder why I often let myself in this certain type of situations. Allowing myself to be immense in certain things which I know at the end, I'll never be able to possess or acquire it. It's like I like the challenges that are posed to me but deep in my heart I know that it will actually be ones that are futile at the end. I've done it before and now, I'm scared that I'll do it again. I just hope that I don't sink too deep that it becomes a black hole where I could never get out. One thing for certain though, is that what I've felt or said are real as much as some may find it hard to believe.

That being said, I don't want to be scarred again. I must control my emotions, especially the negative ones.