Efforts

Carefully handpicked and placed into that circular tupperware, being careful not to destroy the shape and structure. Went out. Came back. The tupperware and its contents still resides in my bag.

Freshly washed, carefully folded. Brought with the purest of intentions to help fight the cold. Went out. Came back. It was barely used.

These are some of the instances where I start to question myself, is it all worth it? Why do some people often misunderstood my intentions? The gamble to skip a certain event that could potentially affect my future, has it come to nought? My efforts.. do people appreciate them? I've been making people around me a priority, but will any of them make me theirs? Why do some people forget, that I have feelings too? That I am prone to being hurt, just like anyone else.

It's already a sick feeling to not being able to celebrate raya with my family on the first day. But now, to be deprived of whatever happy feeling there is left, that's cruel. Maybe it's becoming a trend. I've been hit by bad news for the past two hari raya festivals. And now this.

FML.

That familiar smile. Which I know is no longer reserved for me now. I wish I hadn't noticed it.