Tired, Depressed, Confused

Haiz.. dunno why but i've been moody these few days.. having this 'mood swings'.. At one particular time, i may appear normal but a moment later, my mood will change drastically.. Recollections of my past, feeling of guilt, analysing present situations and wondering what the future holds for me would come to my mind once my mood reached a low level.. dunno why this have to happen at this time of my life.. issit becoz i'm too stressed? too tired? exhausted trying to handle and be patient of the childish people around me? sigh.. i dun noe.. I've been feeling very tired these few days.. Although my time in sch has been reduced to like 5-6 hours per day, my body would still feel drained when i reached home.. Even taking a nap or sleeping longer doesn't make me any better.. haiz.. any cure?

Received an SP email from someone stating that my former sec sch is having this first public dansical or whatever.. Looked to the names in the addressee and surprisingly found quite a handful of familiar names.. Wow, didn't know there's quite a lot of ex-kranjians in SP -_- HmMm, talking abt Kranji, i kinda missed it; the teachers, friends, environment and practically my life there.. So many things happened there, be it the non-hectic studying workload, presence of dedicated teachers and not to mention my NPCC CCA where there were bitter-sweet memories and also the compulsory Folkdance lessons..lolx.. Yes, i missed every second of my life there! Everyday seems to be great day then.. Haiz, how i wish i could still live in that kind of environment and avoid the sadness and depression that have constantly filled my life since i came to poly.. I did tried to live life happily every day.. I did tried very hard, really did.. but sometimes, certain things are too much for me to handle.. haiz..

~Please don't make a promise if you don't intend to keep it. Please don't say something if you don't mean it~ A quote i personally made myself..-_- I've been adopting this 'philosophy' for quite some time.. Most of the time when i'm quiet, nvr voice my opinions, nvr make any promises not because i'm being ignorant or snobbish.. I chose not to make empty promises, chose not to say something which i'm not sure i'll do.. Coz i know how it feels like to be 'betrayed' of the promises made, of the words said.. HmMm..

Anyway, went to the bank after my last lesson juz now to deposit the cheque i received from the insurance company.. While waiting in the queue, i flipped through the pages in my bank book.. Realised how much i've spent my savings this couple of years.. It took me about 17 years to build this certain amount in my bank but amazingly, it took me juz 2 years to half it.. Yes, juz 2 Years!!! haiz.. Most of my withdrawal have gone to my driving lessons i have had and also my trip to melbourne.. They say obtaining a license is like an investment.. Well, i certainly hope so.. Can't wait to enter the workforce, so that i could see the figures in the bank book i once had 2 years ago -_-..

Oh, b4 i forget, Congrats to WeiTing on her new blog! Her blog was officially done on Monday, with the initial D skin which is quite expected..lolx.. Congrats again to our 'new' blogger in this cyber realm.. Looking forward to reading ur regular posts.. =)

Oh yar, i'm gonna finish my Da Vinci Code soon.. Still got abt a hundred pages left but i reckon i shld be able to complete it by this week.. Anyone wants to borrow it from me after that? Buzz me and maybe i'll consider..=_=

Anyway, 30th July is coming.. it's about 1 mnth from now.. HmMm, i wonder what is installed for me this year.. I guess I'll juz have to hope and pray for a positive event on dat day... 3oth July-> *Mixed Feelings* ..sigh..

Okays, till here for this update.. Gotta enjoy my spaghetti dinner.. Ciaoz~!

P.S.: I know that when i'm moody, I'll be affecting the people around me. So, to everyone who is affected, I'm truly sorry. Sometimes, I juz cant help myself to be/feel that certain way.