Stop

Henceforth, I shall never try to be someone I'm not.

I shall not be too cautious with the words I used for fear of offending the other party.

I shall not withhold what I want to say, being constantly afraid that I would hurt them with what I'm going to say.

I shall not try to be someone I'm not.

Whether others like me or not, then it's up to them. As long I'm judged for who I really am, then it's fine. I'd rather be disliked for who I am, then be liked for who I am not. Trying to be someone else rather than yourself, will turn out to be a waste of the person you are.

Emo

A lot of thoughts are running through my mind. A lot of question marks hang above my head.

1) Why do I have to fall over and over again when the outcome will always be the same? Why do I have to experience the same feeling over and over again, and yet I feel hurt every time it happens. Why is my heart so fragile?

2) Maybe I'm too used to be in a friendly environment. It feels so sucky when you've made an effort to do something, but the other party don't appreciate it, or sometimes don't even acknowledge it. Even though I haven't started working, I am beginning to discover how the real world is like. How cruel and unpleasant some people can be. The honeymoon and ideal periods are over. I really do miss my alphian team-mates. They were the best, most caring and friendly bunch of people I've ever been with. I am very fortunate to have been able to know them. And I really miss their company.

Tomorrow will be the last day of ramadhan, and hence the day after would be Hari Raya Aidilfitri. I did some cleaning of the house today, right after I came back from school. Clean the windows, fix the cupboard for the 32" TV in my room, clean the wardrobe and other parts of my room, and fixing back the cushion cover in the living room. So, basically, most of what I spent cleaning up today is my room. And no, my room isn't big. Now that this room is done, I guess tmr would be another round of cleaning at other parts of the house. Being busy with all these stuffs, I doubt I have the time to do any of my schoolwork for the next few days. But nvm, this only happens once each year. I shall take this short period as a break for my confused mind and depleted brain cells.

I don't think I'll update again for the next few days. So, let me wish all muslims, Selamat Menyambut Hari Raya Aidilfitri! Maaf Zahir dan Batin!

P.S.: My tagboard is currently down at the moment. Will reactivate it again when I have the time. But then again, no one tags there, so it seems kinda pointless. Nvm, we shall see..
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What wrong have I done? Why am I being treated this way? Please tell me.

Busy busy!

I think I know of another reason why it's difficult to make friends in the uni. Some people are too engrossed in reading their notes/textbooks that even a 'hi' or a smile, and not to mention a few minutes of chatting about something other than the school life, become something of a chore for them. These things became additional tasks for which they feel would burden them. Crap.

Anyway, the previous two days were my ibu(s) birthdays!! Yeah!! Happy Birthday once again! I promise I shall be a good son! haha..

Busy days continue again this week. I don't know why but this semester seems to be the most hectic compared to the previous ones. So many things to do but so little time! Arrgghhh..

Shall update when I'm free again. Gotta do some sch work. Ciao!

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I shall let it go... I shall no longer pine for something which is nearly impossible. I know I don't do things for it to be reciprocated. Cos life would be happier this way.

Thorny issue

I tried to be friendly and took the initiative.

But if people can't appreciate that, then it's up to them.

At least I've tried and taken the first step.



While writing this, I don't know what's going through my mind and I switched off the main switch to this lappy without any reason. Has my sickness gone to my brain?