I dream..

I dreamt of you and me,
having fun together.
Happily chatting,
sharing secrets,
and teasing each other like we normally do.
Sharing our problems and difficulties,
and coming out with solutions to tackle them.

Then,
my sleep was disrupted.
I looked at my pillow,
and realised it was wet,
wet of my flowing tears.
I came to realise,
in the midst of the beautiful dream,
I was tearing.

This made me realise,
I'm really missing you.
I miss your smile,
your laughter,
your voice,
and everything about you.
I miss hearing from you.

I don't know,
where you are hiding,
but please come out soon.
This deafening silence,
is becoming increasingly unbearable,
to me.

I really missed you..


I wrote the above 2 years ago. And guess what? A similar thing is happening again currently! Talk about deja vu.. shucks!!

------------------------------------------------------

As the day goes by, I feel I'm lacking the motivation and drive to study. And that's a very bad news!!! I do not know why but this is further aggravated by the increasing distractions that are coming to me. It's only the 3rd week of school and my stress level is almost reaching the peak already.

Sigh..

The Law of Abundance

Despite being a weekend and a cool rainy morning, I woke up early today to attend a seminar invited by my friend Colleen. The title of the seminar was "My Formula - Breaking the Millionaire Code" by Thomas Matthew. I thoroughly enjoyed the session and I've learnt quite a lot of things from there, like financial independence, challenges faced, and most importantly ways to achieving that $1M! The speaker was entertaining too, with jokes here and there to brighten up the atmosphere and make the seminar more lively. I was not bored for even 1 second whenever he speaks. There were even touching moments too that make us reflect on ourselves.

And he also brought up one interesting point when he was speaking about the Lust of the eyes. He said something like, "If you own a car, who is the master? Yourself or the Car?" Because according to him, although we control the car, whenever we bring the machine, we have to find a place to park it. And whenever the car is dirty, we have to clean it etc. So, it's like we paying tens of thousands of dollars for something that we have to 'serve'. Quite true and logical isn't it? Hmm, it makes me having second thoughts of owning a car in the future, especially in this expensive city of ours. Oh, the speaker also mentioned that that the cost of living will reach $7K in the near future. And that would mean if you/your children don't earn that amount when the time comes, you will not be able to survive in Singapore or like what he said, Batam would be a better place for you! Haha!! Nice one!

Overall, I personally give this seminar 2 thumbs up and recommend it to anyone of you here who has a dream of having $1M at least once in his/her lifetime, or more importantly, who wants to know ways of being financial independent. Thank you to Ms Colleen for inviting me! =)


Touching on my studies for a little, I'm starting to get worried and stressed out as the days go by. When I start to do my tutorials, I will get 'stuck' not after half the tutorial or what, but just after a few questions!! That's how terrible and stressful my studying life is currently! Especially so for my maths(for which I thought I was strong at)!! Help, anyone!?!? haiz...

The honeymoon period is over. The real term starts this coming week! Shucks!

All right, till here for now. Ciao~!

When life gets stressful

I hate Calculus! I hate Schrödinger equation! I hate Orbital Diagrams! I hate... and the list expands as the day goes by.

Sometimes I wonder, 'Am I in the right course?'

Hmm..

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know why but I'm feeling that more and more people are beginning to lie to me. It's making me hard to trust people's words these days. For me, if you got anything to tell me, I prefer it to be told straight to me. Instead of telling me one thing, and then acted in another way. Do you have any idea how 'tiring' it is to believe what someone says when in fact he/she were not true to their words/promises? But nvm, the world is round. "What goes around, comes around."

Ambitions?

Well well, the first week of sch has ended and what can I say, there's only one word to describe my uni life so far - 'stressed'!! haha.. I know it may be too early to say that but the future workload that I foresee, coupled with the presence of 'over-enthusiastic' and 'over-intelligent' people in my classes have made me worry. But never mind, I shall not compare myself to them. I have no control of how well others do and how much effort they put, so to compete myself with them is like a waste of energy. Instead, I'll compete with my ownself, bettering myself as time goes! All the best to me! hahaa..

When talking about the future, I realise I don't have an exact clue of what I wanna do after I graduate. Not that I have a 'time plan' right from the start, anyway. When I was in secondary school, I never foresee myself to be studying in a university and instead was focusing myself on what course to take up in the polytechnic and what to work as after that. But look at me, now a so called 'undergraduate' in a local uni. This proves one thing though, that we can have a lot of plans, some we called 'foolproof' plans, but we have no idea what the future holds. It's good to have long-term plans for things like finance, health related thingy but for some other things, I felt it's better to think about them in a shorter term. So, instead of spending time thinking of what we gonna do in 5-10 years time, I think it's better if we focus on what we gonna achieve in a shorter time span. So, regarding the question on what I'm gonna do when I graduate? Well, I'll put that on hold first for now. haha. For I'm taking one little step at a time =)


16 days without you..

I'll stay the same

No matter how others treat me, no matter how unappreciative they are, no matter if they have taken advantage of me, no matter if all my actions remain unrequited.. I will still be the same. You may call me stubborn/stupid, but that's just the way I am. I know my tendency in refusing to say 'no' has led me to all sorts of situations. But I guess, I have never learnt as I continue to stick to my beliefs. Sometimes though, it just feels hard...


It's Day 11 and there's still no reply..

Another New Chapter Begins

Well, tomorrow is the start of my uni life! So, how do I feel? Hmm, not that excited actually. haha. The prospect of reading through thick notes, memorising stuffs and writing long essays totally does not appeal to me. But heck ah, I will try go through this 3-4 years with all my might! haha. Wish me luck peeps! =)


Anyway, I realised shitz things always happen when I'm about to start school. The last time was my first year in poly. And now this! Darn! Hopefully I can concentrate well for my lectures..

When it comes to matters of the heart, it can get very difficult..

Tired

I'm tired.

I'm tired of doing all the things I did. I'm tired of waiting.

Sometimes I wonder, is it all worth it? Should I just give it all up?


These days aren't easy, like they have been once before. These days aren't easy anymore...

Decisions

Bidding for modules is coming to an end. So far, I've secured 4 out of the 5 modules that I've bid for. And if everything goes to plan, I would secure the last module by tomorrow evening. However, I just realized something. The exam dates for 3 of the modules are closely packed with one another. On one of the date, I would be having 2 exams, one in the morning and the other in the afternoon. And then followed by another one the next morning. Shucks! Will I be able to cope with this kind of schedule? Well, I really hope so and I believe in my decision. Anyway, if you can't contact me on 28-29th Nov in future, you'll know the reason why all right. haha. Pray for me peeps!

Anyway, here some pics from the 'Ord' Chalet. You can view more from my friendster, lazy to post all of them again here. haha.

Me and Kai Chuan, Celebrating 'pre-National Day'! haha

(From left: Suban, Fazly, Kai Chuan, Venod, Jit Tian and myself) DHQ 'A' brothers!

Yours truly! I've no idea whom the Carlsberg belong to.. lol

Hmm, what's there on the tv?

Candid shot!

Food galore! =D

Hmm, what am I looking at? *wonders*

'Prize presentation' from Don! lol

Fauzan with his 'Zapin' dance, something which I had to do after that.. Shucks! hahaa..

A stare from me, while Haikal peeps on my hp!! lol

Recently, I realize that I have this rather strong determination and belief that I would succeed in my future endeavours. I'm not sure from where it comes from or from whom. It just happened, like suddenly I feel motivated to do things and not wait until the 11th hour. And it feels like I've found the reason why I'm living this life for, with the support of my friends and family around me. Yeah! Well, I hope this will last throughout my uni life and not a short-term thingy. haha.

During these last couple of months, I've been doing some soul-searching. I reflect on all the 'major things' I've done, and whether they are right or wrong. I realized that for some of the things which I've done and appeared alright then, have now seems to be a mistake. To anyone who have been hurt by me before in any way, I'm sorry. That being said, though I may have many regrets in life, I don't really believe in just lamenting about it. I've started to believe that 'To be happier, we should focus on the things we have done instead of just recalling on all our regrets." And I've learnt that actions do speak louder than words.

Anyway, today has been a rather good day. I have patch things up with her, somehow. It has been a distressing 3 months for me. I realized most, if not all, of what I've done are rather foolish and stupid. And I'm not God to judge people around me. I'm sorry for my actions, my words and everything. Thank you for being so nice and understanding. Thank you for forgiving me, Ms 'Anyhow Only'.. =)

To live without any rules

Went to Great World City with Chay to catch 'The Dark Knight', after like finally! haha.. It was a great movie I must say. Though the showtime was pretty long, it was packed with action, drama and a few funny scenes here and there. It should be in contention with 'Ironman' for the movie of the year! Totally worth the $$, but not that I spent on the tickets today! heh..

After that, we went walking around in the shopping centre. I'm not sure whether the place was small or is just us, coz we practically walked past the same stretch of stores for like 10 times! lol.. Or is it just because of someone in that Giordano shop? hehe =P

Anyway, later we went walking towards Boat Quay/Clark Quay and along the way, we stopped at this particular bridge. We then took a couple of photos of it. Wanna know why? Because the bridge is named 'ORD bridge'! How apt and cool is that!! hahahaa..


Alright, pardon me for this rant but... I just hate this CORS/Bidding thingy that every student have to do at NUS every semester!!!! I just can't phantom how they can leave our studies, and indirectly our future, to a game of auctions where the person with the higher bids wins. Is life really a game? To quote from Harvey Dent "You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain".

Shucks!

--------------------------------------

I miss her.. I miss belle =(